A Neutral Zone Armed With Mistrust And Cynicism
by chaletian
Summary: Natasha struggles to trust Bruce Banner. Or anyone, really.
1. The Best Safety Lies In Fear

**The space between Natasha and Bruce is a neutral zone armed with mistrust and cynicism**

**by Liss Webster**

**I – The Best Safety Lies in Fear**

Somehow, despite the lack of alien attacks – or, really, much in the way of attacks at all – Fury manages to come up with an ever-changing variety of reasons to keep Natasha and Clint in and out of Stark Tower. It's not too bad, really. Tony Stark is an irritating man-child, but he is a genius irritating man-child, and Natasha appreciates Pepper Potts' qualities. She could do without Happy's consistent attempts to come on to her, but into every life some rain must fall. Natasha is philosophical about these things. She is (was) Russian.

But Stark Tower also means Bruce Banner. Stark and Banner are apparently living in perfect harmony, saving the world with science, which is admirable (and would be more so if Stark would ever shut up about it), but it means that Banner is always there, looking at her.

(After they'd all gone out for shawarma that one time, Banner had caught her arm on the way out, and said, "Hey, Agent Romanov – they told me about what the other guy did on the helicarrier. I'm sorry if I hurt you," and she had pulled free said, "Don't worry about it; not a problem," which was a lie. It was a problem.)

And the thing Natasha doesn't get, is how everyone else is absolutely fine with the fact that Banner turns into a monster so powerful none of them would be able to stop him, and so unthinking that he can't tell friend from foe half the time. Stark seems to actually think this is a good thing, like it's perfectly manageable. Clint is annoyingly superficial on the subject – Banner's a great guy, and the other guy is useful, and they'll deal with the fall-out if it happens, end of. Fury thinks he's an acceptable risk.

Natasha thinks they're all insane.

She tries to palm off the endless trips to New York on other agents, but Fury is vexingly obdurate on the subject, and she keeps going, up and down Stark Tower's elevator, in and out of Tony Stark's offices and labs and apartment, and Bruce Banner is always there.

"I don't blame you for not trusting me," he says once, self-deprecatingly. "I wouldn't trust me either."

"I'm not afraid of you," she says, and it's not what she means to say. She always says exactly what she means to say; it's part of who she is. Nothing is unplanned. This is what he does to her.

"That's not really true, is it?" says Banner. "It's OK. I'll pretend if you will." He looks – sad – and Natasha's read his file from _before_, and she wishes this had never had to happen to him. The sentimentality of this thought annoys her.

"I'm not afraid of you," she says again, more assured this time, and he nods and turns away, and they both pretend that it's true.


	2. Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing But

**The space between Natasha and Bruce is a neutral zone armed with mistrust and cynicism**

**by Liss Webster**

**II – Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing (But Not For Us)**

Dr Elizabeth Ross appears two months later. Natasha's brought over some schematics that Fury wants Stark to manufacture, and she stands in Stark's lab, ignoring him bitch about the indignity of Fury treating him like whatever, she's not listening. She can see Banner through a glass partition, and she recognises the woman as Dr Ross. Dark-haired, beautiful, brilliant – no surprise that Banner's in love with her. Natasha's read the file, she knows that Ross stood up to her father, that she tried to help Banner. All for love. It's practically a fairy tale.

Natasha's always hated fairy tales.

Although, in the other room, it doesn't look like things are going well. Ross is agitated, and Banner... Natasha's hackles rise and she can feel the adrenaline start. Banner's upset. He's not shouting (not yet), but she can see the tension in how he's holding himself.

She reaches for her gun, the gesture automatic, but Ross is leaving (crying, _bozhe moi_), and Banner's got his back to them.

"Take it up with the Director, Stark," she says, and walks away.

Natasha gets as far as the elevator before professional pride kicks in. She can't in good conscience leave before checking that Banner isn't going to hulk out and destroy Stark Tower and all it contains. When she gets back to the lab, Banner is tapping at a screen, and she would leave it there, but he sees her and nods his head in greeting, and it was only last week Hill gave her a dressing down on _maintaining amicable relations with your team-mates_, so she opens the door.

"Agent Romanoff," says Banner. "Can I help you?"

"Just checking everything's OK," she replies. She doesn't have her hand on her gun, nothing so provocative, but Banner always knows she's ready. She's made sure of that.

"Fine," he says. He's smiling (a little bitterly). "I take it you saw me talking to Betty. You needn't worry, Agent Romanoff, I'm not about turn into – what was it? – a big, green rage monster because I had a disagreement with an ex."

"Good," says Natasha, and doesn't point out that, as far as anyone knows, it's not so much "an" ex as "the" ex, which tends to make things less casual.

And... yes. "I ended it," Banner says. Natasha's face is impassive. Banner looks like he might want to talk about his feelings. Natasha doesn't do that. She's reasonably sure Banner doesn't really do that either, so this is unlikely to end well. "I mean, it ended by default a while ago. There was an incident with some gamma radiation, and it turned out the other guy wasn't the romantic type. But. She thought things were different now."

He turns away, plays with the 3D wireframes of some project he and Stark are working on.

"You're not in hiding in a second world slum any more," Natasha feels bound to point out.

"Because that's what the problem was," replies Banner. "Don't tell me you believe in the power of love, Romanoff, because that seems very out of character for you."

"Love is for children and idiots," says Natasha.

"And I am neither of those," says Banner. "What I am, is..." He tails off, and sighs, and takes off his glasses, cleaning them against his shirt. "I don't want anyone to play Ann Darrow to my King Kong," he says quietly.

Natasha's seen the pictures of the monster with Elizabeth Ross. Most people would think it was romantic, but most people are fools.

"We should both get back to work," she says, and Banner smiles.

"Yes, we should. It's always a pleasure, Agent Romanoff."

"Dr Banner."

Love is for children and idiots, and definitely not for people like them.


	3. There's No Such Thing As Game Night

**A Neutral Zone Armed With Mistrust And Cynicism**

**by Liss Webster**

**III – There's No Such Thing As Avengers Game Night**

There's no such thing as the Avengers movie night. Or the Avengers karaoke night. Or the Avengers anything. The people who made up the Avengers Initiative have scattered after the Loki incident. Thor has returned to Asgard. Captain America is roaming the highways and byways of the USA. Natasha and Clint are back doing their usual missions with SHIELD (even if those missions seem to involve messengering documents between SHIELD HQ and Stark Tower more frequently than before).

If Tony Stark decides that a year spent in India with no sport to watch but cricket has made Bruce Banner practically un-American, and that he must be re-indoctrinated with the glories of the American pantheon of sporting achievement, that's between the two of them. Natasha doesn't see that it's got anything to do with her.

"Hey, Nat," says Clint, one evening, slinging his bow onto his back. "You coming over to Stark's tonight?"

Natasha frowns. "Why would I do that?"

"To watch the game. You didn't see the email?"

Natasha shrugs. After a link to something that ended up being a porno version of their recent battle, featuring a preternaturally hung Iron Man fucking Captain America in mid air (which looked more uncomfortable than anything else), Natasha now filters all emails from Tony Stark into her trash folder. It's better that way.

She doesn't go to Stark Tower with Clint. She's a professional. She's an assassin. She doesn't hang out with her co-workers and watch TV and drink beer (the least incriminating pursuits she imagines Stark and Banner and Clint undertaking).

oOo

Steve Rogers gets back from roaming. He looks more content, which Natasha is glad about. She values predictability in people who aren't her. Fury pitches the idea of working for SHIELD, and it looks like Rogers will go for it. Natasha can see both the advantages and disadvantages, and hopes that Fury will chose Rogers' missions carefully. She thinks about some of the things she's done in the name of law and order, and doesn't think that decent, upstanding Captain America would deal with them very well.

"Captain Rogers, would you like to come watch the baseball with us?" says Coulson, and Rogers agrees and leaves with Coulson and Clint before Natasha can even wonder when Coulson of all people ended up hanging out at Stark Tower in his off time. Also, what favours Clint had to promise to get him to spend time with Tony Stark.

oOo

Two weeks later, Thor appears. Partly to give them news of Loki's punishment by the Asgardians (unpleasant but, Natasha feels, entirely deserved), and, reading between the lines, partly to get some with his girlfriend. SHIELD scuttlebutt says they spent the evening watching the basketball at Tony Stark's.

oOo

The next morning, Natasha's email has been hacked. All the emails from Stark have been returned to her inbox, and at the top is one that says Agent Romanoff, please read me. Apparently, she's making the others sad by not spending time with them. _Apparently_, it's only with the greatest effort from Tony himself that Steve hasn't kidnapped her in an effort to secure her company. _Apparently_, Clint is nearly in tears at her continued intransigence. Natasha wonders, not for the first time, if Stark is on drugs. Clever, undetectable dugs, but drugs nonetheless.

"Hacking my email is not appropriate behaviour," she says coolly to Stark the next time Fury sends her over (she's an _assassin_, when did she get demoted to messenger?).

"You're making everyone sad, Agent Romanoff," says Stark. "Do you want everyone to be sad? Do you hate joy, Romanoff?" He hasn't taken Fury's folder off her, because _Tony Stark doesn't like people handing him things_, and Natasha thinks he will fucking take it off her if she has to punch him in the face, incapacitate him, and stuff it between his teeth.

It's possible some of this shows in her face, because Stark takes the folder, flips it open, and starts making derisive noises.

Natasha thinks this is getting out of control. Natasha thinks maybe she's getting out of control.

"Fine," she says. "I'll come over next time."

"Go Avengers game night!" says Stark distractedly.

There's no such thing as Avengers game night, Natasha thinks.

oOo

Stark's ridiculous living room is full of the people who make up the Avengers Initiative. There is a game on the ridiculously enormous flatscreen TV. Undeniably, this is Avengers game night. Pepper Potts offers Natasha a drink. She is wearing denim cut-offs and has bare feet and doesn't look at all like Pepper Potts.

"We're so glad you came," says Pepper, and Natasha nods.

"Thank you."

She sits there with a beer, observing the others. This is not what she's used to. She doesn't work with people like this. Her interactions with SHIELD staff have been measured and controlled and kept to working hours, except for Clint, and he's her partner, it's different.

The umpire makes a decision apparently nobody likes, and there's uproar, and Natasha's suddenly on alert, because Banner is as uproarious as the rest, gesticulating wildly, and – for some reason – catching Stark in a headlock, which is both out-of-character (as far as Natasha can tell), and deeply worrying. Once she's had the thought – and she kicks herself for relaxing and not thinking about it from the start – Natasha can't keep her attention off Banner. She doesn't relax again for the whole evening.

Next time, she doesn't accept a drink. She's still discreet, but she's better armed than she was before. She doesn't focus on the game, or the others (do people always talk this much when watching sport?); just on Banner. He's easily excitable in this environment, and every time he jumps up, she tenses, ready.

Next time, she chooses her seat carefully, and doesn't take her eyes off him, and when she's moving through the doorway to leave at the end, a hand pulls her off balance and into a room. It's Stark (of course), and she takes great delight in the fact that he's already face down on the carpet, arms twisted behind him, because no-one grabs at her like that.

"Ow, Jesus, Romanoff!" he says (she thinks; it's muffled). "I just wanted to talk to you, you psycho."

"Psych cleared me years ago," she replies calmly. "Next time, try saying, Romanoff, can I talk to you."

"I was _trying_," says Stark, levering himself up, "to be subtle."

"I can understand that would be hard for you," she says.

"Look, whatever," says Stark, unexpectedly sober. "You don't like me, I get it. Most people don't. Something about being intimidated by my genius and my charm and my billions."

"No," says Natasha, pretending to consider, "no, that's not it."

Stark waves a hand, impatiently. "_Romanoff_. This isn't about me. You need to lay off Bruce."

This, she doesn't expect. "Banner? What are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean. All the staring and looming, and waiting for him to turn into the not-so-jolly green giant. These nights are supposed to be fun. They're supposed to let us unwind in our own freakish company, so for a few hours we don't worry about the crap we deal with. Fuck, even Coulson stops threatening to tase me when the game's on. And, by the way, him and Barton? Who knew?"

"Everyone," says Natasha. "And Banner's a liability, Stark. I know you don't want t—"

"I'm not an idiot," says Stark. "I know the risks. But I don't really think a baseball match is going to fill him with uncontrollable rage, do you?"

The thing is, asked point blank, she doesn't.

"OK," says Natasha. "Fine."

She stops going to Stark's for game night. He's right, it's not fair to Banner. She not insensitive, she knows that the other guy is a bigger burden than Banner can bear sometimes.

Also, all this socialisation is making her twitchy.

oOo

For a couple of weeks, it feels like everything's finally getting back to normal. Fury disappears to an undisclosed location, which means they're not being used as messengers any more, and Natasha, Clint and Coulson are assigned to a mission in Venezuela, which is hot and unpleasant and deeply satisfying, and Natasha feels like she's back in control of her life. Then Clint opens his mouth.

"Bruce says you can come back to game night."

"Barton…" says Coulson warningly, and already Natasha doesn't like where this is going.

"What? Look, he says, he knows he makes you uncomfortable, and it's not fair that you should have to miss out, and so he's going to stay away."

Natasha closes her eyes and breathes deeply. She can hear Clint and Coulson arguing but she tries not to pay too much attention on principle.

"I don't want to go to game night," she says eventually. "It's pretty simple."

"But it's team night," protests Clint, and she can see he really means it, and this is getting ridiculous.

"We're not a team," she snaps. "We fought one battle together, and that was that."

The jet is mostly silent the rest of the way home.

oOo

Bruce Banner is waiting for her when she walks out of one of SHIELD's secret entrances. He unpeels himself from the wall, and gives a wave.

"Hey, Agent Romanoff."

"Is this about game night?" she asks brusquely, walking past, "because I really don't care."

"But everyone else does," says Banner, keeping pace with her. "It's up to you if you come or not, but I just wanted you to know you didn't have to factor me into that decision."

"We're not a team," says Natasha, for what feels like the fifty-third time.

Banner's smile is slow and a little rueful. "Of course we are. Who else would have us?"

"I'm not going to game night," says Natasha. "I'm not interested. It's nothing to do with you. You didn't need to come down here."

Banner looks at her for a moment, and nods. "OK," he says. She can tell he thinks she's lying, but she's not. She's not.

oOo

She stops deleting Stark's emails, and tells herself it's to monitor the rest of the team. She doesn't like surprises.


	4. Mission: Royal Society

**The space between Natasha and Bruce is a neutral zone armed with mistrust and cynicism**

**by Liss Webster**

**IV – Mission: Royal Society**

Natasha's glad to be on a mission by herself. She's doing what she was trained to do, the way she was trained to do it. There are no distractions. There's no Clint, hiding in the rafters. There's no Coulson at the end of her comms. There most definitely is no dysfunctional group of superheroes waiting to blow shit up. There's just her, Natasha, on an intelligence brief from SHIELD, here to steal secrets from a Swiss physicist suspected of working for a remnant of Hydra.

This is her territory. She's read the file. She's memorised the target's photo. She's dressed in a black cocktail dress, heels sharp in the plush carpet of a reception room in London's Royal Society. She has a tranquilliser in her clutch bag and a gun strapped to her thigh. There's a knife in her bra.

And there's Bruce Banner, standing awkwardly by the door.

Natasha breathes in for ten, and then out. She counts the beats in Russian, because that's how she was taught. She catches Banner's eye. He is startled to see her, and that's her first question answered. At least Fury hasn't lost his mind to that extent. She lets her gaze slide over to a nearby alcove, where heavy curtains fall in front of a bow window, and then back to Banner, and sees that he understands the message. They both move towards the window.

"What are you _doing_ here?" asks Natasha, voice low, when they're both tucked behind the red velvet curtain.

"It's a lecture on gamma radiation," replies Bruce. He's wearing a tux, and looks as dishevelled as ever. Also, a little confused. Natasha just stares at him. "It's kind of my thing?" he continues. "I am allowed out occasionally, Agent Romanoff. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Mission," she replies briefly.

Banner raises an eyebrow in disbelief. "At the Royal Society? I don't think they allow that kind of thing here." Natasha raises her own eyebrow, and says nothing. It's always an effective tool. Banner just smiles at her. "That was a joke," he says. "Is this about Reichman? I didn't realise he'd be here."

"How do you know about Reichman?" demands Natasha. This mission is supposed to be top secret.

"Fury asked me to look at his research," says Banner. "He didn't tell you?"

"Doesn't matter," says Natasha. It does matter, but it's not Banner's problem. "And, yes, he's scheduled to attend. Fury sent me to get some information from him. What?" Banner's practically smirking. Natasha doesn't like it.

"I just really admire the way you guys sugar-coat stuff like that," says Banner. "Get some information from him. How are you planning to do that, exactly?"

Natasha smiles. "I plan to ask him. I can be very persuasive."

Banner grins and looks away, shaking his head. "Oh, Agent Romanoff. That you are. So, I'm going to go out on a limb and presume you would like me to absent myself from this situation."

Natasha is about to agree, but she pauses, and considers. Hydra has been underground for a very long time, but they're not half-hearted. If they've got agents with Reichman, they will have agents in the area as well. She doesn't want Banner walking out of here unprotected. If someone recognises him and tries to take a little prize home, they could end up losing half of London. Natasha's pretty sure Fury would have something to say about that.

"No," she says slowly. "No, stay here. Pretend you never saw me." She moves to leave the alcove, and hesitates. "Try not to hulk out," she says, and it almost feels like a joke. Banner smiles at her.

"I'll do my best. Scout's honour," he says, saluting sloppily, and she rolls her eyes and leaves.

oOo

Someone knocks a shave and a haircut on the door, and Natasha eases it open. Banner's standing outside. He flashes his cell at her. "Got your message," he says. "I thought I was pretending you weren't here?" He peers around her into the darkened room. Natasha pulls him inside.

"Reichman's talking, but I have no idea what he's saying," she says irritably. This whole affair has been annoying and frustrating, and Banner's presence has, surprisingly, been the least of her problems. It felt almost – useful – to have someone she knows to contact for help, even if that someone is Bruce Banner.

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't speak German," says Banner, pushing the door closed behind him. From the dim light coming through the curtains, Natasha knows he can see Reichman slumped in the chair, neatly bound.

"_I_ speak German," says Natasha. "That's not the problem." She pushes Banner closer, too focused on the mission at hand to worry about the surprised look he gives her. He listens to Reichman's mumbles for a minute, then turns to her.

"Ah," he says. "He's speaking science. I see your problem."

"I've been recording it all," says Natasha, showing Banner the tiny recorder sewn into her bag, "but I can't tell if he's actually told me what I want to know." She is extremely pissed off. Banner mostly seems amused. She resists the urge to punch him in the face. (She is sure she never had to spend so much time resisting the urge to punch people before the Avengers Initiative, although she did have to work with Clint, so.)

"Tell me what you want to know," offers Banner, and she briefs him while he listens to Reichman's ramblings.

oOo

By the time they've settled Reichman's unconscious body into a more comfortable looking armchair where hopefully everyone, including Reichman himself, will think he simply fell asleep, and made their way to the lobby, it seems that the lecture is over. Banner sighs, and Natasha glances across at him.

"Sorry you missed it," she says.

He shrugs. "The price I pay for being an international superhero," he says wryly. Natasha looks at him. His bowtie is seriously awry and his hair is a mess. They both know she could take him down in approximately three seconds and suddenly Natasha knows that right here and now she could do it and he'd just let her. "My mind is the superhero," Banner continues.

Natasha shakes her head. "You've been spending way too much time with Stark," she says, heading for the door.

"Tony's a great guy," says Banner. "You should give him a chance."

"He emailed me porn," says Natasha.

"He emailed everyone porn," says Banner easily. "It was very disturbing." They're walking down Carlton House Terrace. It's getting dark.

"You getting the jet back to New York?" asks Bruce.

"Why? You want a ride?"

"If you're offering."

Natasha sighs. "Fine."

oOo

"You know, I really think Pepper would appreciate having another woman come to game night," says Banner when they're nearly back in New York.

"No," says Natasha.

"Clint's been crying into his pillow every night," tries Banner.

"Stop listening to Stark," says Natasha.

"It's making Coulson very sad," continues Banner.

"Will you all shut up if I come?" says Natasha.

"Yes," says Banner. "And I promise not to involve the other guy if the umpire makes a decision I disagree with."

"I'll think about it," she says.


	5. Apparently There Is Such A Thing

**A Neutral Zone Armed With Mistrust And Cynicism**

**by Liss Webster**

**V – Apparently, There Is Such A Thing As Avengers Game Night**

Natasha's on her way up to Stark's living room, when the elevator slows. The door pings, and opens to reveal Bruce Banner on the other side.

"Hey," he says.

"Hello," says Natasha, and steps aside in silent invitation. She presses the button for the penthouse again, and the elevator resumes.

"Looking forward to game night?" asks Banner.

"So much," says Natasha.

"It's not so bad," begins Banner, but doesn't get any further, because the elevator jerks and falls a few metres, and goes dark.

"Shit," he says raggedly.

Natasha climbs to her feet, and reaches out tentatively till she feels Banner next to her. "You OK?" she says. All she can hear is the pair of them breathing. "Bruce, are you OK?" she repeats. Her heart's racing, and all Natasha can think about is the fact that she's trapped in a tiny box with a monster. Except…

"Yeah," says Banner. "I'm fine, Natasha, don't worry." She feels him move under her hand, and then he's patting her on the arm. "It's fine."

Her eyes are acclimating to the darkness, and she can see him now, standing beside her, one hand clutching the rail, knuckles showing starkly in the dim light filtering down from the elevator ceiling. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is controlled, but she remembers this from the helicarrier.

"Bruce," she says again, and his eyes snap open, and he looks at her.

"I can't believe Tony Stark built an elevator that would break down," says Banner. "I'm rethinking his claims to genius."

oOo

"It's not my fault," Stark shouts down the elevator shaft. "Pepper, this is on you!" They can't hear Pepper's response. Tony shouts again, "It's those cowboys she let in to build the place."

"We'll get you out of there," shouts Steve. "I can climb down!"

"I can _fly_ down," shouts Stark.

Natasha and Bruce are sitting cross-legged on the elevator floor. "We could be here a while," says Bruce.

"I don't know why Stark thought it would be a good idea to have an elevator with a sealed ceiling," says Natasha.

There's a hiss of static on the control panel, and then they can hear Coulson's voice. "Romanoff. Banner. We're working on- yes, there's a radio signal into the elevator, Stark. I thought you designed this? – Listen, you two, we'll get you out of there as soon as possible. You both OK?"

"We're fine," says Bruce, closer to the control panel. "Tell Tony his designs are seriously flawed."

"Will do," says Coulson, and closes the connection. They can hear the roar of outrage from the elevator.

"Tic tac toe?" offers Bruce. Natasha sighs.

oOo

There is no such thing as Avengers' game night. There is no such thing as the Avengers team.

And yet.

The game is taking a back seat. Tony and Bruce are still arguing about the elevator design. (There's a to-scale elevator being built out of drinking straws.) Pepper and Phil are discussing post-alien-invasion insurance premiums in New York and methods SHIELD might employ to better indemnify their frankly staggering operational costs. Thor has finally gotten over his pique at not being allowed anywhere near the electrical equipment during the great elevator rescue mission and is snuggled up with Jane, peppering her with questions about the soccer match that's on, when she's not interrupting Tony and Bruce's argument. Steve and Clint are enthusiastically if inconclusively debating the pros and cons of close combat versus distance. Natasha is sitting back in the corner of one of Tony's ridiculous sofas, her feet in Clint's lap, a drink in her hand, and this is all starting to feel oddly like home.

Bruce looks up from the drinking-straw elevator and catches her eye. Natasha feels her lips quirk up in a smile, and Bruce smiles back.

She thinks he feels like that too.

It's a strange development, but right now, Natasha thinks she's pleased about it.

FIN

_A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful comments on this! A note of explanation I should maybe have made at the beginning is that I posted this originally several days ago on AO3, not as a single story, but as five separate stories making up a series. Because you can't put a series together on , I chose to post all five as a chapters of a single story so they would be read together. This may explain inconsistencies in pacing and tone that I guess would seem weird in a normal story, but it probably would have been helpful if I'd mentioned it to begin with!_

_Also, I agree that it would be interesting to see Natasha dealing with the Hulk as opposed to Bruce. I hope to write a second series like this, exploring their developing relationship (not necessarily a romantic/sexual one, though I thought Scarlett Johansson and Mark Ruffalo were a-ma-zing at giving us some tension there!), and I think the Hulk would be a part of that._

_Anyway, thank you again for the comments – much appreciated!_


End file.
